Memo

To: Mrs. Moody
From: Pablo Quiroga
Date: September 15, 2009


With the feedback that I received I know have a better idea of how I’m going to develop my paper. I know that I have many things to improve on. One of the things I want to improve is how descriptive my writing is. There are many things that I just “tell” but I want to be able to “show” the reader what happened. I’m also going to talk more about what it was like to leave my family. I plan on finishing the memoir by talking about what it was like to move here and how we managed to survive. There are many events that made a strong impact on my future. For example, I plan on writing about my first days of school. I think that by writing about school can give the reader a good picture of how difficult it was for me to adjust to a new culture and language. I also plan on writing about my mom and all the struggles she had in order for us to survive. I think that by talking about my mother it gives the reader a good picture of we had to deal with at the time. While most kids had their parents at home every day when they got from school, I was alone and had to wait for my mother to come home from work. Another big event that I plan on talking about was playing soccer. I can give strong visuals by referring to the soccer tournaments and talking about how strange it was to be away from my mother in a place I didn’t really know anyone. I also plan on finishing my memoir by describing how I felt at each event and occasion and how it has made me the person that I am today.